Charles Elliott Newbold Jr. - www.charlesnewbold.org
Agape
Perfected in Love
Once seen, it becomes clear that all things of the
Kingdom of God are summed up into this one thing—love, but not just any
kind of love. It is the God-kind of love. The God-kind of love is perfect
love. 1 John 4:18 reads, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love
casts out fear.” We are destined to be a living expression of that perfect
love; such love as is being perfected in us. The New Testament word for
this love is agape (ä
-gä-pay).
Agape defined
Agape is different from the
other kinds of love we express in the English language. We use the one
English word “love” for a wide range of experiences and feelings. We say:
“I love you.” “I love my cat.” “Let’s make love.” “Don’t you just love
that chocolate cake!” The Greek language has four words for the one
English word love. They are agape, philos, storge,
and eros. Agape and philos are the only two used in
the New Testament and, therefore, the only two that pertain to this
writing.
Philos (noun); phileo
(verb) in Modern Greek means
“friendship.” It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and
requires virtue, equality and familiarity. It is the Greek for affection
and is strongly associated with emotions. Philanthropic comes from two
compounded Greek words, phileo and anthropos meaning, “love
of man.” Philadelphia also comes from two compounded Greek words phila
and delphia meaning, “brotherly love.” Philos has its place
in the body of Christ, but it is not the same as agape. (The word
for “love” as found in Romans 12:10; 1 Corinthians 16:22; 1 Thessalonians
4:9; Titus 2:4; 3:4; and 3:15 is from the Greek, phileo.)
Agape (noun); agapeo
(verb) in Modern Greek means
"love." We shall see, however, that the New Testament attributes a much
deeper significance to it. Agape is translated “charity” in the
King James Version of the Bible. In our day, the English word “charity”
primarily has to do with the benevolent giving of money and, as such, is
an insufficient translation of agape. Paul clearly shows that
agape is something other than giving to the poor. In 1 Corinthians 13:
3, he wrote, “And though I feed the poor with all my goods, and though I
give my body to be burned, and have not love [agape], it profits me
nothing.” Agape may give to the poor, but the mere act of giving to
the poor is not agape. Human compassion (philos) is good to
have as far as the world goes, but it is not the same as agape.
Human compassion comes out of who we are. Agape comes out of who
God is in us. God is love (agape). 1 John 4:8. Human compassion may
cost us time and money, but agape may cost us our lives. It is what
results when one is dead to self; when we realize we now belong to Jesus.
Other versions of the New
Testament use “love” to translate agape.
Unconditional
agape
Agape has generally been defined as “unconditional love.”
Conditional love says, “I will love you if you do…such and such.” “I will
love you because we are blood kin, but…” “I love you because you are
loveable.” “I love you because you have given so much to me.”
Jesus told His followers in
Matthew 5:46, “For if you love (agape) them who love (agape) you, what
reward have you? Do not even the publicans the same?” He never put a
condition on His love for people. He just exercised agape toward people.
“Unconditional” is a good
definition for agape as far as it goes, but it doesn’t seem to fully
define it. The English word love has been so weakened by the world’s use
of it that a stronger definition is demanded to explain this God-kind of
love.
Agape defined by
Jesus’ life
The original Greek idea
expressed in the word agape is unknown before the New Testament. It
was given particular meaning by its use in the New Testament. Jesus
especially defined agape with His own life and death in that He
selflessly died for us. “But God commended His love toward us, in that,
while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Rom. 5:8. Jesus Himself
said, “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his
life for his friends.” John 15:13. We cannot miss this aspect of Jesus’
sacrifice of His own life, that He would love us that much; and that the
Father would love us that much. We can get distracted by the question,
“How could God allow His only begotten Son to be so cruelly slaughtered?”
The real question should be, “How could He have loved us so?” John 3:16
proclaims that “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten
Son….”
Agape, then, in it’s
truest sense has to do with sacrificial living. It can be
understood as the unconditional surrender of self—the giving up of
something for self that is in the best interests of another even unto
death. One dictionary defined it as
“selfless love.” I would broaden even that to say, “selfless living.”
I interpret philos as
either affectionate love or human compassion. I interpret agape as
“unconditional, sacrificial love;” and henceforth, when I use the word
agape in this writing, I mean to apply this definition. Agape is already a
recognized English dictionary word, and I have taken the liberty to use it
as an English verb (e.g.; agapes, agaped). I use agape instead of love in
order to communicate the real meaning of the word.
Agape stands in stark
contrast to affectionate love. Philos (affectionate love) has
self-gratification as its reward. It brings pleasure to the one expressing
the love. So, that one loves expecting to be loved. Or one loves to enjoy
the pleasure of loving. If ever philos ceases to satisfy, one feels like
one doesn’t love that person or thing any more. Philos can be fickle.
Agape is purely selfless. It is by nature giving.
Agape is not based on
feeling as we often think of love. I “feel” loving or “feel” loved. We may
feel love, but that is not agape. That is soulish, affectionate love.
Agape is an action, a decision, a choice to act without regard to self.
Agape does not have to have a feeling to act. In fact, agape may require
an action that runs contrary to our feelings. One may be challenged to
express agape toward an unlovable person over a lifetime. The more
difficult it is to love an unlovable and hateful person makes for the
greater agape.
On the other hand, feelings
may very legitimately accompany agape. Look at how 1 Peter 1:22
incorporates both phileo and agapeo. It reads, “Seeing you have purified
your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto sincere love of
the brethren (philos), see that you love (agape) one another
with a pure heart fervently.” Interpreted, this could read, Now that you
have affection toward one another see to it that you are willing to lay
down your lives for one another. The Bible says that God is agape. I
firmly believe that God has profound affection and compassion (philos)
toward us as well.
Agape is at the heart of
being a servant. In Matthew 20:25-27 (NIV), “Jesus called them together
and said, ‘You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and
their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you.
Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and
whoever wants to be first must be your slave.’” True servanthood is
embedded in agape—doing for others without expecting recognition or
anything in return.
Agape often means that we
have to set boundaries. Just because we lay down our lives for what is in
the best interests of another does not make us doormats. That is why I add
to my expanded definition of agape, “that is in the best interests of
another.” We are not to do whatever another person demands of us. We are
to obey the Holy Spirit who determines what is in the other person’s best
interests and we do that. Some agape actions fall into the category of
tough love, doing what is right regardless of how it feels.
Strangely enough, we can
even sacrificially love the world. John exhorted us not to love the world
or the things in the world. 1 John 2:15. The word for love used in this
verse is agape. We can surrender our lives to the world or to God. We
cannot do both. We will sacrifice our lives to one or the other. The
world’s way will never be God’s way, and God’s way will never be the
world’s way. These are at war with each other. An interpretation of this
verse could just as well read, “Do not sacrifice yourself to the world,
nor to the things in the world.” Romans 6:13 and 16 concur, “Neither yield
your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield
yourselves unto God…Know not, that to whom you yield yourselves servants
to obey, his servants you are to whom you obey; whether of sin unto death,
or of obedience unto righteousness?”
Agape is
commanded in scripture
Jesus gave us two
commandments. He said, “You shall agape the Lord your God with all your
heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first
and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, You shall agape
your neighbor as yourself.” He continued to assert that all the laws and
the prophets hang on these two commandments. Matt. 22:37-40.
Because, if we agape Him,
we will keep His commandments. John 14:15 reads, “As the Father has agaped
Me, so have I agaped you: continue in My agape. If you keep My
commandments, you shall abide in My agape; even as I have kept My Father's
commandments, and abide in His agape. These things have I spoken unto you,
that My joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. This is
My commandment, That you agape one another, as I have agaped you. Greater
agape has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”
(Also, John 14:21-24).
Jesus reinforced this in
John 13:34 saying, “A new commandment I give unto you, that you agape one
another; as I have agaped you, that you also agape one another.”
James 2:8 says, “If you
fulfill the royal law according to the scripture, ‘You shall love your
neighbor as yourself,’ you do well.”
Husbands are commanded to
agape (unconditionally, sacrificially love) their wives according to
Ephesians 5:25, 28; and Colossians 3:19. Young women are instructed to
show phileo (affectionate love) to their husbands and their children
according to Titus 2:4.
We are to consider one
another to provoke unto agape and good works. Heb. 10:24.
Moreover, we are to even
have agape for our enemies, bless those who curse us, do good to those who
hate us, and pray for those who despitefully use and persecute us. Matt.
5:44. This entire verse further defines agape. There are those who
religiously believe in sacrificing themselves as suicide bombers in order
to kill others in the name of their religion. This is not agape. Believers
in Jesus are to be willing to lay down their lives for the well-being of
others. We are never to take our own lives or that of another.
Agape is the
fruit of the Spirit
This agape is the first
fruit of the Spirit mentioned in Galatians 5:22,23. “The fruit of the
Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith
(faithfulness), meekness, and temperance (self-control): against such
there is no law.”
Love (agape) is mentioned
first. Perhaps, it is the fruit from which comes all the other fruit of
the Spirit. Without agape there can be no joy. Without agape there can be
no peace. Without agape there can be no longsuffering (patience). Without
agape there can be no gentleness, no goodness, no faith, no meekness, and
no temperance.
If, however, we are seeking
our own lives, we will always be struggling for more—more of everything.
We become addicted to more. Without agape we will lose our joy. We will
lose our peace. We will lose patience. We will lose gentleness, goodness,
faith, (faithfulness), meekness, and temperance. We will be looking for
these things in all the wrong places, but they will not be there.
This fruit of the Spirit
cannot be legislated. It is simply in us to produce this fruit just as it
is in a fig tree to produce figs. The fruit of the Spirit is who we have
become, who we are in Christ. When we come into the fullness of His agape,
we will also come into the fullness of joy, peace, longsuffering—all of
the fruit of the Spirit.
The witness of
agape
Jesus said that agape for
one another is the way other men will know that we are His disciples. John
13:35. John explained, “Beloved, let us agape one another: for agape is of
God; and everyone who agapes is born of God, and knows God. He who does
not agape does not know God, for God is agape. In this was manifested the
agape of God toward us, because that God sent His only begotten Son into
the world, that we might live through Him. Herein is agape, not that we
agape God, but that He agapes us, and sent His Son to be the propitiation
for our sins. Beloved, if God so agaped us, we ought also to agape one
another. No man has seen God at any time. If we agape one another, God
dwells in us and His agape is perfected in us. Hereby know we that we
dwell in Him, and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit.” John
4:17.
Agape not only is the
evidence that we are His disciples, but is the thing that draws others to
want to come to Jesus. Agape is the most powerful witness of the gospel.
People need agape. They are drawn to love and the things that make for
life. They are drawn to spirit and truth. Jesus said, “And I, if I be
lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto Me.” He was speaking of
His death on the cross. John 12:32, 33. His death on the cross was God’s
ultimate display of agape. The world must see it displayed in the
believers.
Perfect agape
“Perfect love casts out
fear.” 1 John 4:18.
What is perfect agape? The
Greek word for “perfect” that is used here signifies that which has
reached its end: finished, complete, perfect, fully-grown, and mature.
Biblical perfection speaks of the fullness we are promised in scripture.
Perfect agape, therefore, is full-grown agape.
Paul refines our definition
of this perfect agape in 1 Corinthians 13:1-13. As you ponder these, bear
in mind the definition of agape given in this writing: unconditional,
sacrificial love. He writes:
“Though I speak with the
tongues of men and of angels, and have not agape, I am become as sounding
brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
“And though I have the gift
of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I
have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not agape, I am
nothing.
“And though I bestow all my
goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have
not agape, it profits me nothing.
“Agape suffers long, and is
kind.
“Agape envies not.
“Agape vaunts not itself
and is not puffed up,
does not behave itself
unseemly,
seeks not her own,
is not easily provoked,
thinks no evil,
rejoices not in iniquity,
but rejoices in the truth,
bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
“Agape never fails: but
whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues,
they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we
know in part, and we prophesy in part, but when that which is perfect is
come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
“When I was a child, I
spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when
I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a
glass, darkly; but then face-to-face: now I know in part; but then shall I
know even as also I am known.
“And now abides faith,
hope, and agape, these three; but the greatest of these is agape
(unconditional, sacrificial love).”
Paul adds in Romans 13:10,
“Agape does not work ill to one’s neighbor.” If we are working any
wrongdoing toward our neighbor, we are not practicing agape.
He also tells us to forbear
one another in agape. Ephesians 4:2.
We are to “owe no man
anything, but to agape one another: for he who agapes another has
fulfilled the law.” Rom. 13:8.
Agape does not call
attention to itself. Agape does not bargain saying, “I will…if you will,”
or, “I won’t because you don’t.” How many marriages would be radically
healed if husbands really unconditionally, sacrificially loved (agape)
their wives as Christ agaped His Bride? How many families would hold
together if each member were willing to unconditionally, sacrificially
love (agape) one another? How many neighbor relations would be restored?
How many armies could lay down their arms? The world would be a totally
different place. The good news is that the world will be a totally
different place when agape is ultimately perfected in His people.
Agape must stand in the
place where self-importance once stood. John, the Baptist declared, “I
must decrease that He might increase.” John 3:30. As the Lord Jesus is
increased in us, so will His love because He is love. I know a man who
prays, “Lord, reduce me to love.” He adds, “If we are walking in the
cross, washed in the blood, and filled with the Holy Spirit, we will be
reduced to His love.”
The nature of
God in us
God is agape. It is His
nature and not just something He demonstrates when He feels like it. Agape
flows out of who God is. Agape cannot help but give. It must be
expressed, and the expression of agape is to give without any thought
of getting anything in return. It must be received before it can
find satisfaction; and the expression of it must be returned before
it can find fulfillment. God’s agape has mankind as it intended target.
Once we receive God’s life
through His Son, Jesus Christ, we take on God’s nature. As He is agape, so
are we. It is not just what we do. It flows out of who we have become (or
who we are becoming). Once we become agape we are bound by its very nature
to express it.
Our first natural response
is to agape God as He has agaped us. We agape God because He first agaped
us.
Our second natural response
is to agape others. Why? Because we have become agape! It is the nature
and character of who we now are. 1 John 4:20 reasons, “If a man says, ‘I
love God’ and hates his brother, he is a liar.” Agape is not selective. If
that which you think you have that you call love is manifested toward one
and not to all, it is not agape. The preferential love we feel for family
and others is different.
Perhaps agape has not been
perfected in us as it will be, but this principle stands. If you agape God
because you have become agape by receiving Him, you become this
unconditional, sacrificial loving person. But you say, I love God and I
know I don’t love certain other people, as I know I should. I ask, “Do you
want to love them?” "Is it in your heart to love them?” God looks upon the
heart. God is the one who forms Christ in us. Therefore, we approach this
in faith, looking to the finished work of God in Christ in us.
Agape being
perfected
This agape is being
perfected in us. It has to be. God has promised it to Himself. Jesus told
His followers, “Be therefore perfect, even as your Father who is in heaven
is perfect.” Matt. 5:48. This verse is in the context of agape. Perfection
in Jesus has everything to do with agape and it seems to be achievable in
this lifetime. Why else would He command it?
Perfect agape is clearly
made known throughout the New Testament. When the perfect comes, we will
all be like Jesus. When we see Jesus we will be the embodiment of agape.
We will see, experience, and become the very agape of God Himself. His
agape will have been made perfect, mature, complete, full within us. All
that is righteous and good and kind and mysterious and powerful and
gracious and awesome will culminate in perfect agape. When we get to the
place where we can agape as Jesus agaped—and we will—agape will have been
perfected in us.
We are encouraged to know
that this agape is already in us. It is in our DNA (Divine Nature
Attribute). 1 John 2:5 reads, “But whoever keeps His word, in him the
agape of God has truly been perfected.” Agape, as we see here, is a “has
been.” It has been perfected in us. We are becoming what we already
are—what has been divinely attributed in us. We don’t have to wait. We can
act now on who we already are.
Jesus, of course, is at the
very center of this all. He is the fullness of agape perfected in us. It
is in Him that we will come into this fullness of who He is.
The sum of the
matter
“Now the end of the commandment is agape out of a
pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of sincere faith.” 1 Tim. 1:5.
In Ephesians 4:11-16, Paul
says that the ascended Lord Jesus Christ gave some apostles, some
prophets, some evangelists, some pastors and teachers. He gave them to
perfect the saints to do the work of service for the building up of the
body in Christ. These ministries are given until we all come into the
unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect
man, unto the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ. When we
come into the fullness of Christ, we will no longer be children…but
speaking the truth in agape, we may grow up into Christ in all things, who
is the head. Yet, with all of this, it still is not the sum of the matter.
Paul continued to write that it is from this place of maturity that the
whole body is fitly joined together and compacted by that which every
joint supplies, according to the effectual working in the measure of every
part, making increase of the body unto the building up of itself in
agape.
This entire passage funnels
into that final word, agape; thus making agape the summation of all into
which God is bringing us. We are being conformed into His image. God is
agape.
The Holy Spirit is in the
process of perfecting this agape in us. The world cannot love this way,
but the world cries out to see this love through us.